Wednesday Walk

I wanted a place where I could reflect upon my walk with God. Writing it out captures those small details that are sometimes agonizing, sometimes triumphant and all worth celebrating--eventually:)The past several months have been messy--but that's true of any kind of growth--they all come with aches and pains, the unexpected and the dreaded--and then we have grown into our beauty. Shedding something as destructive as pride was bound to be ugly. Giving up control (oh, how I loved my delusion that I had any of that)is like peeling flesh from the bone. But I am something new today. And I'll be an even better person tomorrow.

What I do have is peace and it was worth the price. I believe that if we do what we can do, God will do the rest. And I'm good at doing. I like doing--most of the time.

So, I was driving home from work earlier this week and asked God to show me He was still working on the finances to bring Noelle home (I have researched and applied for all the grants I know of and am moving onto my next "what I can do") and when I got home there was a lovely card in the mail from my cousin and her family along with a large check. It is humbling and beautiful and far-reaching, this growing vine God continues to water. Noelle will know she was so so wanted in this family and that's a gift that cannot be purchased or woven by our hands. I am a member of a family that is full of heart.

I also received a reply from a foundation that informed me that they do not give grants to single women. It made me quite sad, that they could turn me away knowing Noelle is waiting for us and needs heart surgery, simply because I don't have a husband. I have a heart, for God and for the orphan He cares so much about, and those were the only requirements listed on the foundation's website. I wonder what God thinks about their turning their backs on us? I know that He will make this adoption happen, so I'm not freaked out, but I replied to their e-mail anyway. I don't know if it will have an impact on them, if they'll change their minds for me or for single women in the future. But I had to say something.

It took me 10 days to write this piece, so I'm a week behind in posting it. I'm hoping to do better--I'd like to make Wednesday Walk a weekly reflection.

Root. Canal.

In T-minus 90 minutes.

This is my second one since July, when the root canal was done on the wrong tooth. SIGH. I pray that today we get the right tooth done as I am in so much pain and have been since Saturday night.

And how did I last with the pain since July? I didn't use that side of my mouth--at all. And the pain went away, unless I drank something hot. Then in late December I finally went in and had the temporary filling over the non-necessary root canal filled with permnant and began using that side of my mouth again.

So right now the whole family is in pretty sorry shape. Uncle Scott flew home with a sinus infection and a rash (probably poison sumac from cutting down our tree). Aunt Janet will have surgery on her shoulder and until then is in pain and has very limited movement. Nana has something REALLY wrong with her toe. Possibly an ingrown toe nail. She's hobbling around the house waiting for the DR to call back with an appt. Maddie has blisters in her mouth and Ava has the sniffles.

Things will get better.

Travelin' Girl

On Monday evening Ava got all dressed up for her journey up to Oregon to visit Uncle Scott. I had no idea she was leaving until she came to say good-bye. She told me, "I miss Uncle Scott SO much. And don't worry, 'cause I have my rain boots on."

I talked her into waiting a few months--Uncle Scott will be back--and she called and left a message on his cell. Notice the stethescope? Uncle Scott was sick with a sinus infection when he left and she had plans to make him better:)

That's My Girl

Got an update today:) ChunJu's health has been stable. She now weighs 19 lbs and is 29 1/2" tall.

An Update

Noelle is in a foster family situation in China and staff from the orphanage went to visit her in late November. They report that Noelle's lips are not as blue and that she has had no incidents involving her health. YEA!!!

I spoke to the agency today. I asked them to get updated measurments (the ones we have are from 2010) so we can see how well she is growing --the pediatric cardiologist who will perform open heart surgery on Noelle when we get her home would like this info, too. When she was 16 months old she was the size of a 6 month old--heart babies grow slower and tend to be quite a bit smaller than babies with a healthy heart.

God has been really good to us and many people have come forward to make sure Noelle has a family and gets her chance for a healthy heart. And I am SO grateful. I know His hand is upon us and that the remaining need will be met.

For my part, I have grown tremendously. I am able to rest in His peace, watch Him work miracles, and daily my faith grows stronger. I never would have been able to do this, even two months ago--remain peaceful when things went in unexpected directions and I had no clue how I would get my daughter home. Two months ago I was frantic. Today I know that "it is through Him that we have received grace. . .And this includes you, called of Jesus Christ and invited [as you are] to belong to Him." Romans 1:5,6

And to Him I give thanks.

At the Beach with Uncle Scott

My brother flew home today. We're all pretty sad around here.

Cooking

We baked cookies and had a BBQ on New Year's. Uncle Scott got back from the desert and we played cards before bed. The girls really missed him:)