To Home School or Not?

So this has been knocking around in my mind for a few months now. In November (after 2 years of other symptoms), Maddie began to cycle through fevers and she began missing school. A lot of school. She tried to return a few times, and even got a week or two in before the fevers or other symptoms came back. By the end of January I knew her then-diagnosis was wrong and began seeking even more expert opinions. Last Wednesday, we saw a specialist who seemed to nail it. We are still waiting on test results (poor babe had 6 vials of blood drawn last week), in order to rule out the most terrifying possibilities, such as leukemia and lupus. But Maddie's symptoms match, exactly, periodic fever syndrome. So much so, the doctor started her on the medication for it. The medication is so strong that she can only start with a quarter of the dose needed for a child her weight, and build up to the correct amount over the course of a month (or longer if her body needs longer to tolerate it). Periodic Fever Syndrome is a childhood illness that is just emerging as a major player in the field of medicine (so Maddie is now in a medical study--uninvasive, of course--that we hope will help the doctors better understand her and the children after her who have the diagnosis).

Anyway, yesterday I put Maddie on contract with the school. This was hard to do, as she loves school, is very social and earns top marks in academics. She is so bored at home, but most days won't even consider going to school. The symptoms are painful and it's just too much. I have 2 weeks to decide about switching to home school for the remainder of the school year. Socially, Maddie will have gymnastics and maybe soccer, when she feels well enough to go. But is this enough?

 My big girl.

 My middle.

What's growing in my garden right now. I'm including this photo because two weeks ago there were NO buds on this scrawny little plant. Despite more than a year of nuturing this rose bush, it looked more dead than alive and I had just mentioned to the girls that we would need to find a replacement plant as I would be pulling this bush out. I had given up on it. Well, this plant has become a new symbol for me, of my adoption journey to Noelle, and of my life period. The past year has been rife with challenges and I have felt many emotions about it, from anguish to anger, then I would reclaim my faith and wait with anticipation and even excitement for what God would be doing next--some moments have been truly beautiful to witness. Right now, I'm holding fast. I feel a little quaking on the inside, but I'm pushing past the fear and keeping my eyes wide open. There are two full-blown flowers now on this rose bush and 4 buds about to burst open. I don't want to miss a thing--God is at work and He always has our good at heart.